PRIMARY DELUSION:  This year will be different!

This year will only be different if you choose to change YOU through lowering your expectations, realigning your priorities and setting boundaries. This year, you can focus on the gift of Christ by beginning to set boundaries for your own behavior (ex. commitments, priorities) and for the behavior that you will accept from others.

  1. The biggest predictor of future behavior is past behavior
    1. Let this be your guide to boundary formation this year
  1. You can maintain boundaries and still practice forgiveness.  Boundaries help protect the healing work of forgiveness until past wounds are completely healed.
    1. As Christians we forgive because:
      1. We are forgiven
      2. So that we do not let bitterness take root.  Once this takes root, we can morph into a person who is prickly and unlovable.
      3. Because when we forgive, we become increasingly more like Christ
      4. To be obedient
  1. Boundaries can exist with forgiveness
    1.  Boundaries serve as the band-aid that protects the “scab of forgiveness” so that you can continue to reflect Christ.
      1. After an injury, the skin is inflamed for a while
      2. Initially, the edges of the wound begin to contract and come together
      3. Even though the wound looks like it has healed, there still may be inflammation and if this wound is hit, it will bleed and often quite profusely
      4. Initially, stitches or band-aid or adhesive strips will protect the wound during the healing process.
  1. You do not have to accept unkind or inappropriate treatment from anyone whether or not they gave birth to you or helped you pay for college.
  1. How people act is up to them. You are responsible for your own behavior and not anyone else’s behavior.


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