I meet with an eleven year old girl who I will call Molly. She is shy and wears a hood that mostly covers her face, yet those big brown eyes are hard to miss. We talk about her favorite things and I ask her for some good memories. Her first good memory is the day she arrived at the Joy Home. Molly was neglected and left to feed and fend for herself. Consequently, she was sexually abused several times. Her memories are horrific.
I was privileged to meet with her six times individually and Molly began to learn to trust me. Initially, Molly felt that she was dirty and bad because she thought that she was at fault for the sexual abuse. We discussed that Molly is good and that the men behaved badly. We prayed that Molly would feel clean and I prayed some of the verses of Psalm 51 over her. God answered our prayer and miraculously she no longer feels dirty. This becomes evident when she no longer chooses to wear her hood
As we continue our work, I gently suggest that we could work on one of her memories. I encourage her that the prize for doing the work could be a dry bed in the morning (she is an habitual bed wetter). She looks as me and politely declines. She would rather wet the bed then to encounter her memories in a therapeutic fashion. I can’t blame her. So we focus on strength building and safety.
During our last session, we focus on her strengths. It takes us a full 30 minutes to come up with ten things that she likes about herself. I make a suggestion for item #10, “Molly is loved”. She looks at me and smiles in agreement. I ask her, “Who loves Molly?” She says that she is loved by God, her new mom at the Joy home and me! I was very moved and could barely speak. If I do nothing else, but let these children know that they are loved, God wins!
As we end our last session, I ask her if she would like me to pray with her. She grabs my hand and states that she would like to pray with me. I tell her that I can start or she can start and this is her choice. She just holds my hand and smiles and we look out the window for a few minutes. I remind her again that whenever she wants to begin, she should let me know what to do because she is in charge of this session. She just smiles and looks out the window. I want to keep my schedule and move on to the next child, but I feel that it is important to let Molly control the session. I want her to feel powerful. We must have held hands, sitting wordlessly looking out the window for over 10 minutes. Finally, she smiles and begins to pray.
Lord, be with this precious girl. Let her know that she is wonderfully and fearfully made. Let her know that what man meant for evil, you can use for good. Please use the trauma that she has endured to shape her into a young woman who can do amazing things for your glory. Let her know that because of you, she is a new creation and the old has gone, the new is here! * Let her live as a new creation.
*2 Corinthians 5:17